...On the Secret life of American Tennger. You wanna help me out?
Then I'll just be a teenage mother enabler.
Mom, you're gaining weight. You're tired all the time.
How could you be pregnant at your age?
I don't mind if my dad dates.
I just don't see her as stepmother material.
Jack and I are having sex for the first time.
You can't keep jack just by having sex with him.
You're absolutely sure that the vasectomy worked, right?
I feel stronger than I ever have.
We just had sex.
Marshall's dead.
We're gonna have a baby. Yep.
I got you this.
It's beautiful.
I was wondering what you would think if I asked your mother
if the three of us got a house together.
Really? We could move to a house?
How would you like to go to Italy this summer? To Bologna?
What would I do there? Work at your uncle's hotel.
I don't want you to have sex with any other guys.
Will you marry me?
I feel a little funny about giving you a car...
What is this, some kind of a bribe?
If that's the way you want to look
at a brand-spanking-new SUV.
I'm Griffin. You want to have lunch with me?
You make it sound as if it's a date.
I'm gay.
I think that's my baby, Anne.
Yeah, I think it is, too. I love you.
Did you see Madison a lot last summer?
It was nothing. We just had a few meetings of the Dead Parents Club.
So we're getting a brother? Yep. It's a boy.
I'm never gonna have sex again with you.
You know I care about you. I love you, Adrian.
I met someone. A guy.
Jeff, this is my son Tom. You're the boyfriend?
Hey, uh, when do you think you might be coming here?
It's my new house. I live in a house now.
I wanna have sex. What are we supposed to do, Jack?
Oral sex.
Aren't you afraid that one day
Amy will move away and take John with her?
I don't guess there's anything I can do but follow her.
The baby is coming right now! George!
I'm gonna have to deliver this baby.
And you think you'll lose her
if your friend from Italy comes over here.
What do you wanna name him? I was thinking maybe your dad.
Robert Scott Juergens.
I take it Jack went home? Yeah, he went home.
I'm breaking up with him.
Whose boy are you?
She's coming here? Now? Yeah.
Her dad has a business trip planned,
and she wants to come with him to see me.
Did you ask her to come with him so that Amy would break up with you?
No, she's a friend. She's just a friend.
So you didn't even have to ask her to come here now to break you up with Amy?
No, she just decided to come now.
I told her to come in the summer. In the summer.
I was over there in the summer,
so I thought that she should come here in the summer.
I thought that she and Amy could hang out with me in the summer
just like I hung out with her and her friends in the summer.
Not the same. That was your platonic girlfriend you hung out with?
Did you tell her that Amy is your platonic friend?
No, I did not. I just said that she was my girlfriend.
Was. Not is. Was! What else did you tell her?
I told her not to come. I swear.
She said if she came here now with her dad, maybe I could go back there this summer.
Maybe you could go back to Bologna in the summer?
Of course you can go back to Bologna next summer
if you have no reason to be here next summer.
I feel sick to my stomach. You've felt sick to your stomach for a couple of months.
So get it over with. If you're gonna break up with her, break up with her already.
I can't. I-- I just can't.
Do it! And do it yourself.
Don't let Amy break up with you because your Italian girlfriend is showing up.
Break up with her because you don't want to be with her anymore,
because that's the honest and manly thing to do.
If you love her, if you ever loved her, break up with her.
You waited this long. Just let it play out.
You think so? Yeah, I do.
Hank!
That's me. I gotta go.
Hi.
What?
What are you up to? Up to?
Yeah. Up to. We can tell you're up to something.
What? No, I'm not up to anything.
Amy may be too busy to notice, but we're not.
Notice what? That you're thinner
and paler and "nervousier."
That's not even a word. You're supposed to be a wordsmith, Madison.
Speaking of which, I gotta get to English class.
You've got time to talk to us.
Talk to us. Are you trying to break up with Amy?
What would make you say that?
Because you didn't say,
"No, I most certainly am not trying to break up with Amy."
You said, "What would make you say that?"
Which makes us think that you are.
And I'll tell you something, sausage prince.
Our Amy's been through hell. Through hell, I tell you.
And you are not gonna break up with her. Not now, not ever!
The only way that you are ever, ever getting out
of this relationship is if she wants out.
Yeah. If she wants out. And she doesn't want out.
What is going on here?
Who said that I was gonna?
Oh, God.
Better be the swine flu.
Even if it isn't, he's a pig.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. And we gotta keep that pig in our sights
until we know what he's up to.
Yeah. We owe that to Amy.
Do we have to go home?
Well, you missed two days of school already.
Well, I brought my books. I'm studying.
My grades are a lot better this year.
I love, love, love getting away with you.
Just us and the babies. It's been so nice.
This place is great. You can smell the ocean from here.
Please, Mom? Let's stay. Maybe we shouldn't have lied.
We had to. There's no "I can't deal with my life" holiday for moms and daughters.
Amy-- Mom, as soon as we leave here,
we're gonna have to go back to our regular lives.
You're gonna have to take care of Mimsy,
and I'm gonna have to go back to school.
Just one more day.
*Falling in love Is such an easy thing to do*
* Birds can do it We can do it*
- Let's stop talking Let's get to it *
"Let's fall in love "
What's going on?
Nothing. I'm not, uh-- I'm not feeling well.
I think I may go home. No, that's not it.
I beg your pardon? Are you breaking up with Amy?
That's between Amy and me. So you are.
I don't know.
But I can't talk to you about this.
If I talk to anyone, it's gotta be Amy.
I'm begging you, don't do it.
What?
The gene for red hair is recessive.
Wait. Repeat that part.
The gene for red hair-- it's recessive.
Recessive, huh? Yeah.
Is Amy's mother's hair really red, or does she just color it red?
Um, I think it's really red. Why?
Oh, nothing.
Something.
No. Nothing.
But did you ever meet her boyfriend?
No, I didn't. Why?
Come over after school.
Again, why?
Because we haven't had any time to hang out together.
Because you haven't spent more than five minutes away from Ricky lately.
It's not what you think.
Oh. Yeah. Sure.
It's not sex. It's not.
What, you just suddenly enjoy spending time together?
No, not suddenly. We've always enjoyed spending time together.
I always enjoyed spending time with Jack until we started having sex.
You had sex once. And a half.
Okay, wait. Once and a half?
You know what I mean. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I know what you mean, girlfriend.
Look, I just--
I just don't think you gave it a chance.
So you and Ricky... The two of you...
We do.
Both of you? Yes, both of us.
I just think it's unnatural.
Okay. Each to his own.
But...
Well, maybe Jack was just not experienced at it.
Do you know he's not experienced at it,
or are you guessing he's not experienced at it?
I'm guessing.
Hey, private conversation here.
Geez.
Maybe I'm no good at it.
Because it was me, not Jack.
I was just gonna do it because it was,
you know, not a good time to have sex.
Wait. So he didn't...
No, he-- he didn't.
Okay.
Uh...
Okay, look,
no one is not good at sex.
You know, there's not really a good and a bad sex.
It's just, uh, it did make you feel good,
or it didn't make you feel good.
Or it's right for you, or it's wrong for you.
Or you're glad you did, or wish you hadn't.
But-- But there's not really
a good or bad.
At least that's my opinion.
Well, it was wrong for me, and it didn't make
either of us feel good, and I wish we hadn't.
All right, all right. We'll just find you a new boyfriend.
I can't do that. Why? He has.
He has not. That's what I heard.
Madison?
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no. It's someone new.
Okay, you can't do that.
Okay, don't do that. We're at school.
I don't wanna be at school. I wish I was anywhere but school.
You could come over to my house if you want.
Yeah. Okay. Or we could do something.
Like...
Like skip school and go somewhere.
Where? I don't know. Haven't you ever taken a day off?
No, I'm-- I like school.
I like school, too, but I just can't be here today. I have to get away from here.
I'm in.
You can't be in. You've got football practice.
You already missed one game this year. You've got band practice.
I'm not in the marching band anymore.
I'm just doing orchestra. I have to work now.
You're not in the marching band? No, I'm not.
I tried, but I couldn't keep up with the schedule.
I have responsibilities now. I have John.
I can miss practice.
Maybe I have the flu or something.
I can come back tomorrow, feel better,
and I don't miss a thing.
I had the flu. I don't have the flu.
You can't do that. That's what I'm using-- the flu.
You don't have the flu. You don't have the flu.
I don't have the flu. Just walk out.
Come on. Let's do it.
Maybe it's not too late to fix things, okay?
Maybe you and Jack can get back together
before he gets serious about this girl.
Just tell me who he's dating.
I don't know her name. I just heard he was dating someone.
And you should, too.
Hey, maybe Ricky knows someone you can go out with.
Doubt it.
Oh, hey, hey. Um, do you know where Ricky is?
Oh, he left with Ben and Jack.
He left?
Yep.
Let's get out of here.
Get out of here? I have three minutes to get across the school to get to algebra.
Forget it. Don't go.
You don't need algebra. You need to get out of here.
What? Are you talking about what I think you're talking about?
I'm just talking about leaving school for a little off-campus lunch and a little fun.
That's it. Can go?
Oh, uh, hi, Ashley.
You're ditching school? Yeah.
No, we are not. We would never do that.
I would, if I got the chance.
Won't your sister rat you out? Who's gonna tell her?
Probably the principal when we all get caught.
So you're going? Come on. Let's get out of here before the bell rings.
"Get out of here"?
If you're leaving here, you're taking me with you.
Okay, fine. Let's go.
Okay, what was that about?
We don't know. You tell us.
I can tell you. Ricky, Jack and Ben
have all left the building, and they're following them.
I bet this has something to do with Ben and Amy.
Is he gonna break up with her? No, he's not.
Ben's not breaking up with Amy.
Then why is he acting so weird?
Because he is weird. Come on.
Where are we going? Wherever the rest of them are going.
Wow. We're skipping school? We can't skip school.
I have a license. I have a car. Let's bounce.
Yes?
Miss Bink? - Dr. Bink.
Doctor, huh? PhD?
That's still a doctor. What do you want, punk?
A little respect. Earn it.
You were fired from you last job
for having sex with a student,
you received your PhD from the Internet,
and your husband left you... for another guy.
1, The other guy was his cousin.
2, There are some excellent schools on the Internet.
And 3, The student to whom you are referring
was 18 before we went to the prom.
And we did it as a political statement.
And there was no sex involved.
I just like to dance. What's your point?
My point is maybe this time,
you'd like to establish yourself as a real counselor
and not just a dancer.
I can help you with that.
Go on.
In return, I would want certain benefits.
We're not talking quid pro quo.
We are.
I see. What do you have for me?
May I?
Where was I?
Students leaving campus to have sex.
Ben Boykewich, son of Leo Boykewich, the Sausage King--
the Sausage King is single, by the way--
loaded and single,
although he's engaged to a hooker-
So Ben left campus
with the all-star quarterback Jack Pappas,
who just broke up with his girlfriend
because he wanted...
oral sex from her, and she said no.
Oh, and driving them is the drummer.
Ricky Underwood.
Yeah, that guy.
In the other car is Adrian Lee,
the school slut,
along with her best friend,
the "still Christian but former virgin," Grace Bowman,
who would not have oral sex
with the aforementioned quarterback.
And with the two of them is Ashley Juergens.
Ashley.
Try to keep her out of it.
Because you have a thing for her?
No, because she'd kill me--
she and her protector, this Griffin guy.
He's the only guy in the girls' car.
He's-- He's gayer than Gary Garrison.
That's pretty gay.
Yeah.
Not that anyone has a problem with it--
no one who's comfortable with their own sexuality, at least.
Anyone else?
Oh, yeah. I forgot.
There's a clown car with the sidekicks.
Henry and Alice, whose relationship is so hot
it's contributing to global warming.
And with the two of them is Lauren and Madison.
Lesbians?
Not yet,
but maybe down the line.
And they've all left campus to have sex together?
No, no, no, with just whoever they can find.
Any idea where these alleged trysts will be taking place?
Let's talk about me for a minute.
What's going to happen with you and me?
Firstly, no sex.
And secondly?
Secondly, if you bust them,
it will be the biggest bust
in the history of Grant High School.
Which means I can do pretty much anything I want.
As long as I'm not anything.
Listen, I'm not going to jail
for you or any other minor who wants to sleep with
or even dance with a professional educator.
I have learned my lesson.
What the hell's he doing in there?
He's probably getting a sweater.
It's 75 degrees out.
He likes layers. Haven't you ever noticed?
That Ben likes layers?
No. Why would I notice that?
Thought it was noticeable.
So I guess you heard.
I heard you broke up,
and I don't want to know anything about it.
She was having her period, so I thought maybe she--
Shut up. I just said I don't want to know anything about it.
And if you have to ask a woman to do that,
then obviously she doesn't want to do that.
You two shouldn't be having sex.
You shouldn't be having sex.
I'm not having sex.
I'm just letting Grace think
I'm having sex with someone else.
Because? Because then she'll want me back.
I mean, she wants me back. I know she wants me back.
It's just an ego thing.
I got all tied up with what happened--
or didn't happen.
So I'm going to let her think I want someone else,
and that'll give her a reason to come after me.
It's a win-win. Or a lose-lose.
What if she decides to get another boyfriend
because you're having sex with someone?
No, it's not going to happen.
Why not? Because Adrian's helping me.
Helping you how?
You and Adrian are not having sex,
any kind of sex.
Of course not.
There's no of course not.
You had sex with her before.
One time.
She's just telling Grace I'm seeing someone else
so Grace will want to go back with me.
Adrian agreed to do that?
Yeah.
When are you talking to my girlfriend?
Uh...
No more talking to Adrian.
Don't get her involved in your problems, okay?
All right.
I think that's your phone.
Yeah?
Aren't you going to answer it?
No, I'm not.
I have to answer it.
Hello.
Hello. Who's this?
This is the school counselor
calling to find out why you're not in class.
Coach, is that you?
No, it's not Coach.
It's Dr. Bink.
Dr. Bink?
Yes. New counselor.
Are you truant, Mr. Pappas?
I had a groin injury,
if that's what you're talking about.
Who is that? The counselor.
And who is that?
Would that be Ricky?
No, that's not Ricky. That's, uh, my dad.
He had to pick me up from school
because of the truancy.
Truant means you're absent from school.
It's not a disease, moron.
Your father is correct.
May I speak with him, please?
Uh, he can't talk while driving.
It's against the law.
I'm going to have to call you back.
We have to go back.
No, we don't.
What the--
What are you doing, man?
I thought that if we're going to take the day off,
we should do it in style.
Wow. Thanks.
You can't drive that car.
You don't have a license.
Even if you did, you're a bad driver.
You just hit a parked car.
You can drive. Oh, no.
I'll drive. All right. You can drive.
Are you insane?
What if something happens to the car?
Your dad will kill you, and then he'll kill me.
I'll take full responsibility. Let's go.
This is a bad idea.
What are you, a wuss? A what?
Hey, guys,
my dad took off with Betty for the day.
It's her birthday.
They're not going to be back until late tonight.
Come on. It'll be fun.
I need to have some fun,
even if it's just car fun.
So where are we going to meet guys?
It's a surprise.
I don't like surprises.
Surprises are fun.
You should have some fun.
You need to go out there and have a good time.
I can't have a good time
unless I know where we're going to have a good time.
We don't have to go anywhere.
Just driving around without my family
is a good time for me.
How's your dad with the--
What? The lawn?
Yeah. The lawn.
Oh, he was not going to say lawn.
What's going on at your house?
Nothing.
Nothing's ever going on at my house.
We're one of the most normal families
in the whole state of California.
We are one of the most normal families
in the whole country.
We are one of the most normal families
in the whole world.
You are not even the more normal family
in the neighborhood.
I didn't say we were.
How's your mom and the new baby?
Why? What have you heard?
Nothing. I'm just asking.
Oh, yeah? And how's your mom and her new baby?
She doesn't have a new baby.
I think she's referring to the boyfriend.
Does everybody know about that?
Yes. Yes.
Uch. I hate him.
Grace, I thought Christians
weren't supposed to hate anyone.
Okay, I don't hate him.
I just hate that he's dating my mother.
Because?
Because she's still in mourning
for my father.
She is.
We all mourn in different ways.
Oh-ho-ho.
Sorry.
You'll feel better when you find
someone to go out with.
Maybe you should date an older guy,
maybe someone your mother's boyfriend's age.
You know, just to point out
that age does make a difference.
Only legally.
Yeah, real legally.
You point, Counselor?
It is a crime to have sex with a minor,
and a minor is anyone under 18.
The greater the difference in age,
the greater the penalty.
If the perp is more than three years older,
it's a felony.
What?
Yeah. The older he is,
the more serious the charges.
That's how it works,
even if you want to have sex
with a guy 19 or older.
Who's going to press the charges?
The police. It's their business
if I have sex with a guy that's older than me?
Yep. You're a minor.
Until you're not a minor, it's their business.
What if I have my mother's permission?
Wouldn't matter. She'd just be an accessory.
Did you know this?
Yeah.
No.
It's not something I have to worry about
because I'm not having sex until I'm 18.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
That's what Grace said.
Oh, thanks for pointing that out.
Do you have sex?
Me? Yeah.
Tell us about gay sex.
Um, no.
He's not having sex until he's 18.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I said I'm not dating until I leave high school.
Ooh, you're having sex but not dating?
I don't want to talk about this, okay?
I'm just along for the ride.
Yeah, with?
I don't know.
Hello.
Griffin, is that you?
Nope. Wrong number.
I don't know.
Huh. Could be the school.
Yes. Someone's calling us from the school.
Oh, no. Now we're all going to get in trouble.
We're going to get kicked out of school,
all because of oral sex gone bad.
Oral sex is neither bad nor good.
I told you that.
Oh, boy. that's what happened between you and Jack?
You know that's what happened.
Everybody knows.
I didn't know.
I knew. But I don't care.
No one cares, Grace.
I care.
If you want us,
you're going to have to come and get us, Coach!
Woo! I'm having fun!
Tell me where we're going.
Hello.
Hello, girls. And Henry.
Hank. He's changing his name to Hank.
Doesn't matter what he changes his name to.
He's still supposed to be in school.
Alice, if you turn back now,
no one gets hurt.
It's just a blip on your permanent record
and a few days' suspension.
Is that the cafeteria lady?
Is this the cafeteria lady?
No, this is Dr. Bink, the new counselor,
and I'm busting you for grand truancy.
Did she say Bink?
Yes. Dr. Wilhemina Bink.
I've heard that name before.
Aren't you that lady who got fired
for taking a kid to the prom?
There was nothing illegal about that!
My mom was her court-appointed shrink.
Maybe we should think about going back.
We don't know where we're going anyway,
and we don't know where to look for anyone.
Where are we going?
No one seems to know.
I know.
Man, this was a good idea.
I haven't been to the beach since...
I don't remember.
When was the last time you were here?
Um...
Let's see. I think--
I think it was a few weeks ago.
What, you were just here a few weeks ago
and you didn't invite me?
It was a family thing.
Uh, kind of.
My dad and I were with Donovan and Leon
and their family.
Donovan and Leon are gay, right?
Yeah, so?
So you haven't introduced me
to Donovan and Leon because...
Because they're an old married couple with five children.
And what, they're too stable for me?
Look, I'll introduce you.
Geez, is the whole world about you?
Oh. Crabby.
How can you be crabby on a day like this?
They invited us,
and they didn't invite you because--
because we just needed to get out of the house for a while,
Dad and me.
It's going to be fine.
It is. It'll all work out. You'll see.
The only thing that's going to get her back here is Ben.
If he breaks up with her,
she's just going to go off and start a new life.
Then let her start a new life.
Who cares?
Who cares? I care. That's my son.
Yeah. That is your son.
That's why I told you to get a court order
so she couldn't take him out of the state.
She's not taking him out of state.
She's just taking him far enough
that I can't see him every day.
What the hell happened?
I don't know.
All of a sudden, she and her mother
want to move to Palm Springs
to take care of her grandmother who's got Alzheimer's.
So the two of them left town
to take care of their grandmother.
Yeah, to take care of their grandmother.
Wait. Isn't that--
Isn't that where Mrs. Juergens
was renovating a house with her boyfriend?
In Palm Springs?
I don't know. I don't know anything.
Amy didn't even tell me she was going
until after she'd left.
And then she called me
to tell me I didn't need to come around last night
or tonight or tomorrow night.
And we got into an argument,
and it turned into maybe she's not coming back at all.
She's looking at schools and day care
and all that stuff.
She can't just move without your permission.
Yes, she can. She can do anything she wants.
She's the mother, and we're not married.
That doesn't make a difference.
That's your son, Ricky.
Claim your son. You have rights.
Maybe I don't look at it that way.
It's a privilege for me to see my son,
and I don't want my privileges revoked, okay?
Can't George talk to Amy?
Can't he do anything?
Wait.
Her mom just took off, too?
Without George?
They just had a baby.
That is his baby.
That isn't his baby?
There seems to bsome argument going on about that.
Wow.
I can't talk about it.
I said I wouldn't talk about it.
But she knows-- Ashley.
Every time it seems that my life might work out,
everything changes.
What? What did I say?
You're not the only one, you know.
What?
I think my mom is leaving.
What?
Now? They just moved in together.
Yeah. Good for me, bad for her.
She got an offer--
a job offer. It's a promotion.
She'd be working in public relations for the airline.
But...
the job is in New York.
So I-- I don't know.
I could go with her, or I could stay with him,
but either way I'm not going to be with the two of them together
unless she doesn't take the job.
The only person I really want to be with is you.
Who knows?
You might leave to be with Amy,
since you don't want to do things through the court.
You don't really know how courts work.
You've never been there.
You don't just get what you want, you know.
And I'm trying to get Ben to get Amy to stay here.
Maybe you could talk to him.
I've talked to him.
But it seems like his Italian girlfriend
can show up at any minute.
Yeah, he told me.
She told you that
so you'd be jealous and call me.
How could I call you after what happened?
Nothing happened. You just got all freaked out.
No, I didn't.
Okay, I did.
But I'm just not comfortable doing certain things with you.
Well, you could get comfortable if you wanted.
And if I don't want?
That's okay, too.
There's lots of other things we can do together.
But we have a whole lifetime.
We don't need to try everything all at once.
I just want every time to be like the first time.
Yeah, yeah. The first time. It was great.
It could be greater, you know?
As our love gets greater.
You know what?
Having sex ruined everything for us.
No, no, no. Not continuing to have sex
ruined everything for us.
But everything's not ruined.
I swear.
Let's just look at the past few weeks
as a break, all right?
We took a little break,
and now we're getting back together
after our little break.
That depends.
on what you did during our little break.
I didn't do anything.
I wasn't even with Madison.
What?
Not on break, not last summer.
You know what? You are the worst liar.
I know.
Just tell me everything and get it over with.
All right.
Madison and I, we... tested the waters.
We made out a little bit. That was it.
I'm going to guess that "testing the waters"
went a little deeper than that.
Maybe waist-high?
No, no. Grace, no. We kissed.
That was it.
She was jealous of you, I was jealous of Jason.
One thing led to another, and we kissed.
So that's it? You just kissed?
You kissed or you made out?
We just kissed. More than once?
Not more than one occasion.
It was more than one kiss?
I hate these discussions.
Why do you want to go into detail?
Because I want to compare. Compare what?
What you and Madison did to what Jason and I did.
We just kissed.
I don't believe this.
What?
I don't believe that I felt guilty
about kissing Madison
and all this time you kissed Jason?
That's all I did. it was just a quick kiss.
Yeah, I bet. It was.
I don't believe you.
Ben!
Hey, Ben!
Ben! Ben!
Benito!
Hello.
Where the hell is my Mercedes?
I've got them now.
You know you can't drive without the key to the car.
I forgot.
And didn't you see her?
She wasn't exactly driving.
It was more like puttering.
Is there an exception for puttering?
No, there's not.
And you all know better, I'm sure.
Aren't you all about the age
where you're in Driver's Ed?
Yes.
I should give you all a ticket.
What? We don't even know her.
We don't. Not really.
We don't know anyone.
We don't have boyfriends, either.
Hello.
It's Dr. Bink.
It's over, Henry.
Don't bother going to the beach.
They're all headed back here.
So if you're smart,
you'll tell Alice to turn the car around
and come back to school.
We can't ride with her.
Let me guess. You're all supposed to be in school.
You couldn't give us a ride, could you?
Please, sir?
I could follow.
I'm going to kill that kid.
Ah, come on, Leo. It's not so bad.
It's a brand-new Mercedes.
He doesn't have a driver's license.
Maybe he wasn't driving the car.
Maybe he let Jack or Ricky drive the car.
Like I said, I'm going to kill that kid.
What's up?
My 14-year-old skipped school.
My 16-year-old and wife skipped town.
What are you talking about?
I made the mistake of asking Anne
if there was any possibility the baby might not be mine.
Why would you do that?
Yeah, there's ways to do that
without coming out and asking her.
I don't think the baby's mine.
Robbie doesn't look anything like me.
He doesn't even look that much like Anne.
So Anne took the baby and went to see her mother.
She and Amy. She took Amy and John, too.
But they're coming back.
I don't know if they're coming back.
I don't even know if they know they're coming back.
Geez, George, why didn't you call me?
Why didn't you call me? This is terrible news.
Is it? What do you mean?
You don't really want Ben to stay with Amy, do you?
He's 16. He doesn't have to tie himself down to a family at 16.
it would be a lot easier for him in the long run
if Amy did leave.
Uh, what about the father of the baby?
What about Ricky?
Amy can't just take off.
That baby has a father.
The father has rights.
Did you try to get rights with Adrian?
No. I made a mistake.
I made lots of mistakes.
But I've learned from my mistakes.
It takes a wise man to learn from his mistakes
and a wiser man to learn from the mistakes of others.
Maybe if we shared some of our mistakes with them,
Ben and Ricky could be smarter than any of us were.
You really haven't made any mistakes.
I've made mistakes. Ruben's made mistakes.
We should talk to them.
What's your interest in this?
My daughter.
If the guys would just make sound decisions
about their lives,
how much better off would our daughters be?
You see how it is with women.
One of them has a problem,
the other women in their lives--
the mother or the grandmother, the aunt, the friends--
they all come around.
But with guys-- --
we think we have to do everything all by ourselves,
that it's a sign of weakness to ask for help.
Yeah, it is.
Come on.
You know what he's talking about.
Yeah, I know what he's talking about,
all too well.
How much younger?
He's not that much younger.
He's very mature.
Yeah. Maturity is a strong quality in a man.
I swear, Grace has never skipped school before,
and I just think she's upset
about me and my new boyfriend.
I think she's upset and her and Jack broke up.
Over oral sex.
Excuse me?
That's what I heard.
What? It's all over school.
You just got here. Yeah.
I thought they decided
they weren't ready for a serious relationship,
and that's why Grace broke up with Jack.
Come on. You don't really believe that. I did.
He wanted it. She didn't want to do it.
It's almost impossible to know what to tell them these days.
I'd almost rather they have oral sex than sex.
She couldn't get pregnant.
But then, if they have oral sex,
then she could get an STD. Ha.
Uh, what's the Christian thought on that,
on oral sex?
The thought is oral sex
or any kind of sex before marriage is wrong.
The reality is teens are doing it anyway--
not all teens, but a lot of teens,
and Christian teens, too,
and...Christian adults
and Christian...parents
and--
Give me a break, okay? I'm a widow.
No judgment. I'm just trying to keep the kids in the classroom
and out of the bedroom.
Aren't we all.
Why do you look so familiar?
Perhaps you saw me on the evening news
receiving an award for my work with high school students.
No. I don't think that's it.
Hello, gentlemen.
So I hear the boys skipped school
and went to the beach.
Those rascals.
Boys will be boys.
And isn't it refreshing that this time
none of them are in trouble for sex, drugs, or alcohol?
I remember back when I was a lad.
A few of my buddies and I dropped acid
and hit the beach.
We thought we were at the beach.
We were just sitting in the neighbor's driveway
until the popo pulled up.
Ah, sobriety. It has its rewards.
Aren't you Reverend Stone?
Yes, Jack's dad.
Uh, this is Leo, Ben's dad.
That's Ruben, Adrian's dad.
Nice to meet you, even under these circumstances.
Thank you.
Welcome back.
You were just at the beach.
I didn't know that's where we were going.
I just wanted to get out of school.
Don't I have enough problems
without you getting out of school?
Yeah.
Did you talk to Mom today?
Yeah, I talked to her.
Are they coming home tomorrow?
I don't think so. What are they going to do?
I guess it depends on whose baby it is.
If Robbie is your baby?
Just because he doesn't look like you
doesn't mean he's not your son.
Yeah, it does. Dad.
Ash, life is complicated.
No, it's not.
You love Mom, and you love Robbie.
You love Amy and John, and you love me.
So make it uncomplicated and get them back here.
Don't skip school again.
I don't know why Dr. Bink didn't suspend you,
but don't tempt her with a next time, you hear me?
Yeah, I hear you. Good night.
Come on.
What?
You don't listen to me, either.
Lou, sit.
Thank you.
Give me the illusion of control over something.
Oh--
Here's the thing, honey.
I know you've got raging hormones,
but if you really have to have sex
and you just can't go without it,
why can't you just masturbate?
Oh, that's a word nobody wants to hear their mothers say.
Grace, I know this is an uncomfortable conversation to have,
but I'm just thinking that if you could...
take matters into your own hands,
you might be...saner?
It's kind of funny,
taking matters into my own hands.
I'm glad. I'm glad you think it's funny
because you know what?
Sometimes sex is funny.
And we have to laugh at our own pathetic situations.
We do, and I'm a widow, and I like--
and I want to have sex, and I am crazy about Jeff.
But I don't want to get married again right now.
I mean, not that he's asked.
So you? Oh, yeah.
And she just showed up at the beach?
Yeah.
I mean, she was looking
at a travel book on California
when I first saw her--
in Bologna, at the cafe.
And I showed her where we like to hang out.
I didn't know if she'd ever actually come to California.
I-- I mean, I-- I found out recently
that she was coming or that she wanted to come,
but now she's here with her dad.
And who is this girl, exactly? Just a friend?
Yeah. Just a friend. Really?
Because you know what, Ben? It's okay to have friends.
It's really okay.
It's even okay to be in love with Amy
and still be attracted to other girls.
You're going to be attracted to other girls.
That doesn't mean you have to do anything about it.
I told you before,
if you have done something about it,
keep that stuff to yourself.
I don't want to know, and neither does Amy.
I do love her-- Amy.
But I want to be with other girls.
I want to date
and have sex outside of a committed relationship.
You mean like any other 16-year-old guy
that doesn't have a girlfriend with a baby.
I love John. He's great.
But yeah.
Ben.
I know sometimes in life,
you'd rather ignore a challenge than deal with it.
But you have to deal with it.
Amy has a baby.
If you're in a relationship with Amy,
you have a baby, too.
You've always seemed to have real feelings for her,
despite her situation.
I know you had your doubts once, but--
But I just want to have some fun.
I can always go back to Amy.
What? Oh, my God.
Did I just say that out loud?
Yes, you did, and no, you can't, son.
You really can't always go back.
So be sure this time.
You broke up with Amy before, so be sure this time
because next time she may not take you back.
You can only go back and forth so many times like this
before you lose a woman forever.
I have to go. I know.
I'm sorry about your situation with Amy and John.
I'm sure you can work it out.
Ahem.
Sorry to interrupt.
I just wanted to talk to Ricky for a minute.
About? Dad stuff.
Good night.
If you don't want me to come over--
No, no. I'd rather you come over here
than Adrian go over to your place.
Oh.
So I talked to George today at school.
I didn't realize Amy had left town.
It's probably not for good, or I hope it isn't.
Still, it's got to be difficult
thinking about the possibility
that she could leave town and take your son with her
I can't go to court.
You could mediate a legal agreement
without going to court.
You should have an agreement.
And you might want to look at it
as a commitment to your son.
I might want to look at it that way,
but what it is is a message to Amy
that she can't do anything she wants.
And I'm not so sure
she shouldn't be able to do anything she wants.
She's his mother,
and I'm not contributing much in the way of money,
so-- So what?
You're not a father?
You're afraid that at 16
if you can't make some sort of payment to Amy,
you can't get rights to see the baby,
so you'd rather not risk it right now
and wait until you have money.
It's not about the money.
I'm not saying you should be financially responsible
when it comes to your son,
but I always paid child support for Adrian.
I was just never there for her.
So what kind of a father am I?
A father who never knew his daughter
until she was 16.
Children need things,
but they also need your time, your help,
and your love.
Learn from my mistakes, Ricky.
Find a way to be in your kid's life.
You're a dad.
And you're a good dad.
You and Amy will find a way to do what's best for John.
You will.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that.
And to tell you that if you ever wanted to talk,
I'm right downstairs from Adrian.
Thanks.
Good night.
We're out of dog food.
Look, I don't want any trouble,
but I want my son back here as soon as possible,
if you don't mind telling Amy that.
You tell Amy that. I'll back you up.
Thanks.
What else is on your mind?
It's just that if Ben breaks up with Amy
and I've insisted Amy has to be here--
Then you'll feel obligated
to be her boyfriend or husband or something?
You told me before how you feel about Amy.
You really have to tell Amy how you feel about Amy
in a nice way that won't make her cry.
She cries very easily, you know.
I know, But I don't want her to get rejected by Ben
and then rejected by me.
She's been through enough.
Maybe she doesn't want either one of you.
Ever think about that?
She's not having any trouble
thinking about being away from you or Ben.
I love that girl.
And I love you.
And I love my grandson
maybe more than the both of you,
so you and Amy have to do what's right for John.
And if you need my help with that, you got it.
Call her. She won't pick up. I tried calling her.
Speed dial.
I want to take a nice long bath.
You'll listen for Robbie?
Yeah, of course.
-Dad? -No, it's not your dad. It's me. I want to see my son, Amy.
- I want you to bring John home. - Yeah, when I'm ready.
- And when's that going to be? - I don't Know.
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